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Showing posts with label Happy Couples. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy Couples. Show all posts

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

4 relationship patterns that determine if you'll get hitched

4 relationship patterns that determine if you'll get hitched (Getty Image)

With a new study finding four distinct patterns of commitment, predicting the fate of a relationship has become easier.
University of Illinois's Brian Ogolsky said that the four types of dating couples that they found included the dramatic couple, the conflict-ridden couple, the socially involved couple and the partner-focused couple.
The researchers developed these categories after studying graphs created by 376 dating couples in their mid-twenties. Over a nine-month period, participants tracked how committed they were to marrying their partner and why. Ogolsky asked participants to explain their reasoning when their commitment level had gone up or down.
Dramatic daters are twice as likely to break up as other couples, he said, adding that these couples have a lot of ups and downs, and their commitment swings wildly. They tend to make decisions based on negative events that are occurring in the relationship or on discouraging things that they're thinking about the relationship, and those things are likely to chip away at their commitment.
Partner-focused couples have the highest chance of staying together and being happy over time, Ogolsky said, adding that these partners are very involved with each other and dependent on each other, and they use what's happening in their relationship to advance their commitment to deeper levels. People in these couples had the highest levels of conscientiousness, which suggests that they are very careful and thoughtful about the way they approach their relationship choices.
Conflict-ridden couples may experience decreases in their commitment when they have an argument. Their commitment level may fall, but it doesn't mean they'll break up, he said.
Socially involved couples, like partner-focused couples, report high levels of satisfaction and stability in their relationships. These couples share a social network and rely on that network to make decisions about their commitment decisions, Ogolsky said.
The study is published in Journal of Marriage and Family.

3 things that happy couples have in common

Three things that happy couples have in common

 (Getty Images)

HIGHLIGHTS

• Couples that are really thriving continue to be curious about each other. They don't claim to already know the other person.
• “They also are people who respect a lot of the individuality of each person.

Either Perel is a renowned relationship expert who has worked with hundreds of couples around the world.
During her countless sessions with all different kinds of couples, Perel noticed a few key factors that happy relationships have in common:

They remain curious about each other
"Couples that are really thriving continue to be curious about each other. They don't claim to already know the other person. They don't pretend they know what you're going to say before you even open your mouth."

They are genuinely happy for their partner
"They also are people who are really able to treasure the happiness of the other even if it has nothing to do with them. I'm happy for you, for what's happening to you. That is generous, it is kind, and it really makes anybody want to come home for that matter."

They maintain their own personal lives in a relationship
"They also are people who respect a lot of the individuality of each person. Meaning, they are couples who often have quite a large space where each person has worlds of their own... inner worlds of thought, of pursuits, hobbies, passions, or friendships. Rather than hungry people who each are trying to feed off each other."
"Those three elements, the freedom, the happiness for the other, and the admiration are essential elements of striving relationships," Perel concludes.